Odd Spontaneity

From my experience, people with autism are not known for being spontaneous. Routine is usually the order of the day. So, you can imagine our surprise whenever Darin does something new - especially when it is a really big move forward. Out of the blue this weekend, Darin told Scott that he needed to use the bathroom. We have tried many times to get Darin potty trained. Hasn't really taken. So, you can imagine Scott's surprise when Darin started squirming and pointed to the bathroom. Now, this hasn't been an overnight change because Darin still gets really focused on other things and doesn't always think about how he needs to use the bathroom. When there are fewer distractions (like when we were sitting through church), he suddenly remembers that he needs to use the bathroom.

So, this spontaneous change has inspired us to attempt potty training again. Here's hoping it takes this time.

The Greater Good

There are many times when doing things with Darin is an exercise in determining "The Greater Good". Take for example walking into a building. Darin is always very interested in being independent and opening doors for himself - or pushing the handicap button to make the door open for him. But at times, the door can be very cumbersome and can cause a five-year old some struggles. He is always very determined to do it himself. So, the circumstances might arise when his determination creates a log jam of people waiting for Darin. The Greater Good? Do I hope the people behind us will be understanding or do I upset Darin and force him to go inside giving myself about 5 minutes of attempting to calm him down afterwards?

In an ideal world (or at least my ideal world), I would always be able to do what is best for Darin. But this isn't an ideal world. Sometimes I can't be that selfish. And sometimes the situation gets even worse when a very helpful stranger tries to lend a hand. How do you explain to a complete stranger that you appreciate their help in the situation, but they just made a difficult situation worse by trying to help? Usually, I just find myself saying thank you while I try to take Darin to the side so he can have "his turn" in a minute. And I've become very skilled at learning covert ways of opening doors without Darin's knowledge. I learn many interesting and unique skills in my quest for "the greater good".

My Love of "Copy/Paste"

I do not have an artistic bone in my body. My great works of art could, at best, consist of a lot of stick figures. I never allowed my mom to ask my opinion of whether the thread she had picked match the color of fabric she was going to use - I was not the color judge. So, when it comes to creating Social Stories for my son, I use copy/paste.

Social Stories are a visual timeline for Darin to follow to determine his schedule. We've made a fair few that have worked in the past. When we tried potty training for the first time, I made a pretty good one that is still hanging on the wall of two of our bathrooms, even though we've delayed potty training for quite a bit of time now. When the family was out in California for an extended time, Aunt Julie made a great one with photographs for Darin to get ready for bed.

After struggling with Darin the first few days of school to get him on the bus, I created a really short one to let him know he needed to get dressed, eat his breakfast, and get on the bus. Wouldn't you know it - right after I made it, he became compliant with getting on the bus? Well, it wasn't all a waste. After a handful of days being compliant, he went right back to pitching a fit about getting on the bus. Out came the new Social Story. Darin was pretty excited - and what a difference it has made in the last two days.

So, last night, I spent quite a bit of time to print out a new copy on cardstock paper, a new copy of his short bedtime Social Story, and a few little cards I created to let Darin choose what he wanted to do when he got home from school. I cut them all to a good size and then laminated them with contact paper (I'm going to have to do the same for the potty training schedule when we start training again because they are in pretty bad shape.

I am very lucky to be living in an age where I can get a picture of almost anything off the internet or a reasonable clip art picture to represent things like sleepings (the word in our house that means pajamas). Otherwise, my husband would be doing a lot of drawing of pictures 'cause I would be totally lost without copy/paste. Darin wouldn't understand what Mommy's scribbles were supposed to be.